Dirty

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Hi, I'm Alex Scherman, I'm here to look at the escape hybrid...

Hi, I wanted to take a look a the Matrix. My name? Brian, Brian James.

Kyle, here for the Tribute... Sam, I'd like to see the Vue.

I hate looking for new cars. Actually I don't mind looking for new cars, I hate dealing with salesmen. You don't really care what I do or how my family is (I'm not telling and I don't have one) - your job is to get as much of my money as possible and my job is to give you as little as possible. Normally giving your name and no other contact information is fine but with a last name like Birkenbuel it's fairly easy to track me down. I should know, a Jeep dealership did it a few years ago.

But it was a successful haul, I got three 2nd tier brochures - the ones that have more than just pictures and come with actually handling characteristics and specs. I've ruled out the mazda and all but the escape (hybrid is still acceptable) because they're rediculous looking and have just as bad of gas milage as I currently have.

Still, the whole process makes me wonder. Could I go up to a car salesman and say "look, I don't want to buy anything right now, I just want to see the inside of the car. You can save us both a bunch of time if you just unlock the car and don't make me come up with fake contact information". Think it would work?

14 Comments

Actually you can, sort of. You just give a first name and clamp your mouth shut, tell 'em you've narrowed it down to a few cars and that you'd like to drive it, etc. They'll keep trying, just resist and tell them you're not ready for any of that just yet.

Or...hand them a card informing them that you have a form of tourettes, and that as little verbal discussion as if possible whould be appreciated. Also list the cars you want to see and simply point whenever you are directly asked a question. Should they try to press you any further...feel free to shout, scream, or let out obscenities near small children in between gutteral cries. But maybe that's just me.

My name is James...James Bond. Take a look at Nissan Murano... funky looking but cool, fun and what is important - reliable!

Ahhh...there ya are....been missing journal updates...... Nissan Murano is great My wife and I got one before we moved to Hawaii...it is a GREAT SUV....I myself am going to get the New Toyota Tacoma (4-door, 4x4 6 speed manual....ohhhhh.........)when I get out of Afghanistan....but with that all said I'm a horrid person when it comes to buying a new car at least to the salesman, I go in with all my research done from the internet and know excatly what I'm willing to spend and already am pre-approved from the bank.... go with a friend and have them drive...don't bring your trade in the first time, that's a seperate deal after the price is decided on the new car/truck, your better off to sell it yourself you'll make more money, with ebay today it's so easy. Car dealerships don't make a lot of money on new cars their real money is in the trade-in...you should already know what your going to pay for the car and everything you want before you get there...the salesman will be a formality....I tell them straight up what the deal is, and don't let them tell you anything different if you know your right...If you feel that there screwing you, leave....if they know your serious, know what your tal;king about, and already have approved financing they won't screw with you too much...but they have to make a living too... ...hmmm I think I got off topic what was the question agian? ohh, yes that would be the best approach, the salesman would probably appreaciate the fact that your not wasting his time or just tell him you've had three bankruptcy in the last few years and can't even afford to buy luxry items like toilet paper, and your just there to see how the other half live....

Now that I think about it I'm going to use Tiff's method next time....

Good advice Damon - though yeah, tiff's method does sound more entertaining. Appologies for the long delay between updates - it was a week and a half of trying very hard not to hurt myself snowboarding and then 4 days of just not a lot interesting happening :) I was successful in not injuring myself though, so all of you who placed wagers lost! And I even managed that with 4 days in the terrain park - on the beginners stuff admittedly. Anyway - Nissan Murano... time to do some surfing.

Snowboarding?......no...Skiing is the way to go....guess I'm just old time

I think I'm corrupting someone half a world away. Good for me.

Yes, good for Tiff... ;) Definitely do your homework beforehand. And if they do get you to the table and start throwing a bunch of numbers around, make sure you bring a calculator. A big one. Just whip it out and set it on the desk. Even if you can do the math, it will freak them out - you'll notice that no dealerships have any calculators around, they just make up numbers and write them down (and they generally can't do the math in their head, so sometimes what they write down is wrong). Yes, this is from experience ;)

But the question - calculator wise - is do you whip out the MASSIVE simple calculator - with 2 inch buttons and a screen you can see from space. Or, do you whip out the freakishly complex HP calculator that will do whatever math problem you're currently thinking about before you think about it? Which is the better ammunition in psychological warfare? Or better yet - how about a laptop with Kelly Blue Book ready and open :) I read an article on used car salesmen where one of the tactics when negotiating a tradein is to call "the boss" and ask what they paid for car x (whatever you're trading in) at auction then write down some rediculously low numbers. I've wanted to try out the counter tactic of saying "wow - you got them for that much? screw this, I'm going to one of the auctions"

Freakishly complex. Definately. The latest iteration of HP4# G* would work well, though something must be said for the sheer bulk and intimadativeness of the Ti-95 (dunno the model exactly, I'm a HP calc user myself). Imagine pulling out a calculator that is larger than a VHS tape and slamming it down on their desk to cruch some numbers (bonus points if you make nifty graphs of the data they're throwing at you). Of course, if you're really creative (and have an extensive background in analog electronics), it would be fun to build your own calculator with vacuum tubes and a high-voltage breaker switch to turn it on. The menacing hum that it would give off would be an interesting touch, not to mention the satisfying clunk that it'd make when you turned it on. I've thought waaaaay too much about this now. Someone please stop me.

No, the MASSIVE, yet simple calculator - so they can easily see the buttons you are pushing, and the sales reps across the room can read the output ;) Though for the true jaw-dropper, the laptop with KBB open is the winner... ;) I'm sure you could get Matt's dad to build you a tube calc... ;)

I once went to the library and borrowed the current year NADA pricing guides, then took them to the dealership with me. The salesman glanced at the guides, and after I'd pricked out a car, conspicuously looked it up, then said "So average retail is a bit less than the sticker. Is this the best you can do?" his response was muted: "Um, what kind of a figure did you have in mind?" I smiled. And got the car for a good deal. I ran into the guy in town a week later. He leaned in conspiratorially and said, "Did you make a bundle on the car?" I asked him what he meant. He said "When you came in with the NADA guides, I figured you buy cars, recondition them, then sell them at a profit. Since you did so well on our deal, I figured you must've made a bundle in the classifieds." I smiled a different kind of smile (not the "Your ass is mine," smile I flashed him after he showed me his soft white underbelly at the negotiating table), and told him I was just an informed consumer. He looked insulted, as if ashamed that Joe Schmoe forced him to take the minimum commission on that car. I guess there's honor in being bested by the New York Giants. He was pretty stung to find out I was actually merely a AAA high school team.

Yes Tiff you are!

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