Best. Revenge. Ever.

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On the way to work today I saw a shiny new red Escalade or Tahoe or whatever. Something big and very expensive that had obviously been marketed as tough enough to handle Armageddon yet had never so much as seen a mud puddle. It was parked very poorly and very inconsiderately near the university of washington; not in a real spot and sort of half blocking a driveway. This had clearly pissed off one of the locals who was looking both upset and smugly amused as she stood by the vehicle slowly tearing off chunks of bread and feeding the flock of seagulls she had begun to attract. By the time I slowly crept away there were already a few splotches on the now no longer perfectly shiny red Escalade.


That. Is. AWESOME! Filing that one away for future reference. . . There's an idiot in my parking lot at work who drives a new Dodge Magnum and completely lacks the ability to park straight. Perhaps a test in is order?

Berries work faster than fruit. Preferrably overripe ones. I suggest several-day-old bluberry bread or muffins.



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