America's test kitchen

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I know nothing of beer, that should be stated.  I suppose that's not entirely true, I know that Guinness has a widget in it that dispense nitrogen?  oxygen?  xenon gas?  something like that - and that Rainier beer apparently gets better the more you've had to drink before consuming it.  But beyond that, nothing.  Still, I was bound and determined to cook me some beer brats.

A few Redhook ESBs grace my fridge for some unknown reason - into the crock pot they go.  Some brats and onions of course.  Why not try potatoes and carrots too, they went in the crock pot when I was a kid and mom was making chicken, surely they can't hurt.  Paprika!  Everything tastes better with paprika.  Better add some salt and pepper too.  Let it slow simmer for 10 hours and we've got beer brats!

Actually what we have are exceptionally bland sausages.  It turns out the vital ingredient I forgot, the one no self respecting pseudo-german should ever forget, was saurkraut.  A little bit of mustard gives the sausages some kick so they're not a complete lost cause.

The potatos on the other hand, yeah, those are interesting.  I don't think they're ever supposed to be that sort of sickly "dirty cream-cicle" orangish color, no matter how hungry you are.  And the carrots, oh god the carrots.  I probably should have just spit them out, we'll see how time treats me.

So lesson learned, brats and beer are good, don't forget the kraut, still experiment with spices, NEVER ADD ANY OTHER INGREDIENTS.  Or at least don't eat them afterwards.

I need a drink.

4 Comments

After receiving this story over the phone, I related the rather simple recipe that has always worked well for me:
- brats
- beer (I suggest Beck's)
- sauerkraut

One could add onions, but otherwise, nothing else is needed (other than mustard and a bun). For due credit, I learned this one from Ed (and possibly Justyn).

I love these kinds of stories... they crack me up. I can totally picture you bent over your crock pot stewing, lol.

Oh, and it's Nitrogen used for dispensing Guiness. Fun fact: The mixture for cream ales is 70% Nitrogen and 30% CO2; the goal is to closely match the Earth's atmosphere...

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