Loaded for bear

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My pop taught me that phrase a long while back.  Martin and I had left our third and often less fastidious (I recognize the hypocrisy) roommate at the apartment for a week over christmas vacation and came back fully expecting it to be a sty and to thusly unload on him.  Dad, ever perceptive, picked up on this and warned me not to go into the situation "loaded for bear" since it would quickly escalate beyond any reasonable bounds.  The background is important so that I can explain that I think I need a sign or badge or something that says "loaded for bear".

Every now and then my chi's don't line up or the chakras don't do whatever chakras are supposed to do and I almost get to a mood where I'm spoiling for a rumble.  I suppose it's good on some level - feeling a bit of rage every now and then is like feeling heartache or wild exuberance, required to really know you're a live, but still probably not the most socially acceptable form of knowing you're alive.  Today, for instance, I was walking addie and she was, as is her nature, interested in a cat.  We know this cat, we've met it several times before and they always get along.  Today she was wagging and whining as per usual and let out a bark (not quite as usual) which caused a neighbor to yell from the darkness of their doorway to "control that dog!".  Being loaded for bear I desperately wanted to counter with "Today, fucking today, after 2 and a half years of taking this route TODAY you pipe up from your anonymous little hole."  And continue ranting along those lines for a while.

Like I said, loaded for bear.  The drive in was nice though that basically just didn't add to the loadedness, now it's only a matter of moving through the day.  Since I started imagining the joy of unloading on a hapless co-worker I don't think I'm quite back to center yet.

Maybe I just need to finally find a good boxing gym (I got a good recomendation from Chavie for one run by a bunch of lesibans which aught to be fun).  That and wearing a shirt or badge proclaiming my ready state for "Bears" isn't necessarily the best idea in the queer friendly city of seattle.


Well, you seemed pretty centered at the end of the workday today...

And with your last comment; I really think you should make that shirt, and give it to Ed ;)

...who would be very popular on the cruise I worked on Saturday.


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