August 2004 Archives

bribery.. no, stench.. plaintive cry.. never to be laid.. wait, wait.. there is too much to relate from our adventures at Pax, it seems the best just to tell it chronologically.

Tony and I met Matt and Patrick at the convention center around 10:00 and were greeted with an hour and a half long line just to get to the point where you pay to get in. Ever trustworthy and resourceful, matt has held us a place in line, only about an hour back. Ever devious and worldy tony and I conspire to bribe our way in. We prey on the young; after all, when you're 16 $20 seems like a lot more money than when you're 27. They happily let the four of us in line ahead of them and quickly begin dividing up the money. We're in.

Initially presented with a crush of humanity we make our way upstairs to the exhibition room which seems less like a technology demostration area and more a teaming mass of barely washed flesh in too large t-shirts. Tony accepts the unwanted sales pitch of a man hauking some new line of miniatures so the rest of us can escape to track down the one and only attendee in a cape. For his sacrifice he gets his picture taken with "the caped one", some form of metalic wizard, and a women dressed either as a valkarie warrior or well armed bar maid:

      We head over to scout the official console gaming room, make it about 20 feet in before the oder overpowers us and then head to the PC room. The air is warm and thick as we approach and we litterally cannot enter the room for the wall of perspiration that greets us at the doorway. Fine. No problem. Really here for the lectures/presentation and tabletop games anyway. Off to the state of the industry.

This presentation is actually pretty good. There are some interesting comments on where reps from microsoft, nintendo and some third party dev house think gaming in generally is going. Nintendo and microsoft exchange barbs, it's all good. At one point they talk about increasing costs of development and the pressure to drive down prices causing some retailers to fold. They list a few examples and with Toys 'R Us comes a lone plaintive cry of "nooo!!!" from the far corner of the auditorium. Tony says he can hear the true despiration in the voice all the way over here. The lecture adjourns and we head down to the tabletop area.

Meeting a guy named Dante who regularly runs demonstrations of various games just because he likes them so much (he's a fellow microsofter and apparently there's a regular board game night there) we settle in to try out Chez Geek. I now own Chez Geek. A good addition to munchkin and ninja burger. At one point we each look up and notice a crowd has gathered around our table, jealous of the fact that we get to sit and play something fun. People even begin watching from the balconies above. The 7 other tables dedicated to miniature based gameplay are all but empty and their owners are visibly envious of Dante.

We break for lunch and return to dante's table for one more game for the day. It's a racing game that involves flicking wooden disks around a track but that's not really important. What is is red shirt guy. Red shirt guy's voice instantly reminds me of the skinny computer specialist from Wargames - the one with the pinched nasel sound and thick glasses. There are two women at the table and it's obvious red shirt guy would give anything to be with either of them, the problem is he hasn't yet learned how to approach women. Or, more importantly, not to insult and mock women you're interested in. Any time one of the girls' "cars" fell off the track he'd give a little laugh and say "so sorry, bye bye... bye bye.." with a little wave then wait for laughter. None ever came. I wanted to take him aside and offer some friendly advice. Patrick wished him pummeled. Same reasons I think.

A stop at a few stores on the way home; I picked up Chez Geek and patrick got a god awful CD of brent spiner pretending to be data pretending to play jazz with other startrek players singing backup. At $3 I think it was overpriced.

And yes, we're going back tomorrow.

A quick browsing of craig's list's free section turned up this:

---

11 Large Trojan-enz condoms

OK, these are 11 fully respectable, fully securely packaged, fully safe (expire in 2006) condoms for the more endowed. Specifically they are Trojan -Enz Large, lubricated, latex. They just weren't quite the right size (don't ask). We'd love to give them to others for joyful use, as opposed to the dump as joyless junk. So, to avoid undue embarassment on anyone's part, we are taping them (at 7:57 p.m.), in a rain and ego protective opaque plastic bag to the back of one of the two stop signs at the Northeast corner of N. 57th street and Kirkwood Place N. (a very quiet residential intersection in the Greenlake neighborhood). On the white bag is written in magic marker "Craig's List." Come and get them under the cover of night or in the broad daylight if they are still there by tomorrow morning. Enjoy!

---

It may just be me, but there seems something a little odd about taking free condoms taped to the back of a street sign. I mean, nothing says love quite like second hand condoms.

The free one righteous hamster on the other hand seems kind of cool. I wonder if it performs miracles or just prays daily.

So.. very.. hot.. Apparently the tradwinds shifted to come from the south so the temperature stayed the same but the humidity jumped to around 80% the day we went to the bishop museum. Most of the museum wasn't airconditioned but the planterium was. we spent a lot of time in the planetarium. The museum did have some interesting things but I was disappointed not to see the actual tiki statue that is the model for a fair amount of the little tikis you see in all of the shops. It had a head of human hair and a giant pearl eye. It was said that a priestess of said god could summon the god and have them send a bird out to kill anyone of their choosing. That's a badass tiki. The rest of the day was mostly gift shopping and random puttering around. saw a couple of little shows and tried to make the best of the day but having Hanauma bay yanked out from under us didn't make things go the smoothest. But then there was wednesday.

We finally got to go to Hanauma bay, woke up at 6 and got breakfast to go so we were at the bay by 8:00. The parking lot ended up closing at 8:15 so we got there just in time. It is vastly different than I remember it. Long ago you could bring a bag of frozen peas and trudge down to go snorkeling casting peas about to attract the fish. Not so anymore. There's a manditory orientation video and admittance to the park is strictly controlled. The reason it was closed on tuesday was to give the park its weekly day of rest to regrow. It's a hassle but completely worth it. The fish are back and more abundant, there is actually coral, and the slight bother keeps most of the really sloppy tourists away. We ended up snorkling in the inner reef for about 2 hours, took a little break, then had some fun.

Hanauma bay has several breakwaters. there's the inner reef where almost all of the snorkelers stay and then the outer reef where most of the divers go. Braving chest scraping coral (we found out later there's a channel cut through the reef) we got into the outer area where the water drops off to about 30 feet and it was just incredible. While the fish were perhaps less abundant - at least less evenly distributed - we saw entire schools of black and yellow striped angel fish munching on algea, some clorinet fish, sadly no sea turtles but enough parrot fish to make up for it. Not content with mearly ripping open my ankle while surfing I decided I needed to stretch an ear drum and did a little skin diving to the bottom of the reef.

For those not schooled in diving depths, every 30 feet or so (about 10 meters) the pressure of the water increases one atmosphere - basically adding about 14 pounds per square inch crushing every surface of your body. When you dive with a tank you can equialize the pressure in your body - in your ears for example - because you have preasurized air to draw on. Not so much when just holding your breath. So a quick furious dive down, blinding pain, a snatch at an old shell and I shot back to the surface. I've got the old shell. I made sure it was 1) dead, 2) isolated and 3) clean of algea so there was no impact on the reef. The rest of the day I spent walking around with everything sounding like I still had water in my ears. It was so cool :).

We finished off our last night in waikiki with a successful purchase for me and a hula show. The show was actually a hula schools first public performance and they were quite good. The instructors nephew was the only boy in the group but in addition to learning to wave his arms and wiggle his hips he'd apparently learned how to mac on the ladies since all of the little girls kept smiling at him. For myself, I finally found my own tiki. I wanted something original and hand carved and we finally managed to find an artist in the "international market". It's actually two. Mo'hau and Ei'hai I've decided to name them. And for those who would mock the names, beware - I learned how tikis are summoned as well. And you thought one bird would mess you up...

On a closing note that's only slightly related but still fun. I've apparently still got "it". Though admittedly sometimes it would be handy to be able to turn "it" off. Like when the female store clerk who playfully pats you on the ass is older than your grandmother. *shudder*.

We took a circular tour of the island on sunday that was quite fun. I think about 200 miles in total, it ended up taking about 5 hours with all of the stops. We got to see windsurfers, play in some of the less crowded beaches and see the famous north shore! one thing though, in summer the north shore is flatter than a pancake so sadly no pictures of 20 foot breakers or suicidal surfers. In fact, a great deal of what we planned on seeing was closed or under construction that day - the hazard of driving on a sunday I suppose - but it was enjoyable none the less. Monday though, monday was the ass kicker of days.

Start off by learning to surf. I picked up the "standing up and riding" bit fairly quickly thanks to snowboarding but man are my arms out of shape. Paddling along the side of a 10 foot foam board to get going on a wave isn't so bad, but when you take a nice long ride, crash and then have to paddle out against to the tide your arms turn to jelly pretty quickly. After the lesson I came back to shore to find my right leg covered in coral cuts so headed for one of the many beach side fresh water showers. I thought rinsing the sand and grit out of the cuts was bad but stepping backwards into the cold water stream was so shockingly cold it actually turned my stomach. Of course the 50 year old woman with huge sagging cleavage that decided to pull open her bathing suit and fish around inside while standing at the same shower didn't help things.

After surfing we went to diamond head. Now I'd like to say it was a challenging hike and that I'm sticking to my training regime but at a total vertical gain of 500 feet over the tremendous distance of 0.7 miles, i'd be lying. The view from the top was worth it though and we managed to spy a lighthouse and rocky beach front where the real windsurfers go to play. After making our way back to the crater floor we went and watched the surfers - getting most of our enjoyment from when they crashed - and generally relaxed before heading to germaine's luau.

Germaine's is an interesting sort of place. Not counting the fact that it's conveniently located on a twisty dead end in an industrial park it is hosted by what can only be described as the polynesian descendants of Bob Barker. Just something about the voice from the loudspeaker as he described each of the different island outfits and what each item meant made me keep expecting to hear "and how much would you pay for this FABULOUS showcase?". But not counting that or the polyester clad sea of humanity that exploded out of the busses when they arrived - Jennie likened them to a hoard of hawaiian printed army ants - the show was fantastic. The Pork from a Pit (I don't remember the actual name) was good but the beef was fantastic. Following dinner was a show with some fun audience participation and quite a few talented dancers. I think I shot an entire roll of film on the one big summoan fire dancer.

A few other notes I have written down from the show:

• I describe Poi as liquid bread. the 70 year old retired school teacher corrects me and says it actually tastes like library paste. She refuses to answer how she knows this.
• Jennie mentions that this is more white people (in terms of amount of tan not race) than we've seen over the course of the entire trip. And all of the couples are in matching outfits.
• People in seattle are upset when you dial their number at 10 at night asking for Germaine. Jennie's phone automatically uses 206 if you don't specify an area code.

Today was supposed to be spent snorkeling in Hunama bay but sadly that will have to be delayed until tomorrow. Got up nice and early and headed out to make sure we got in before the lot filled up only to be greeted by sheet of plywood declaring "park closed on tuesdays". A quick change of plans has me typing this and then heading out to the Bishop cultural museum and most likely the international market. I must find myself a good tiki carving :)

The first day and a bit have been incredibly long, but quite fun. The fates of vacation decided to play a little joke on us with regards to our car rental. It appears that Enterprise, like any well thought out car company, decides to close their rental counter at the airport at 8:00pm - and not tell people with reservations for 10:00pm about this fact. But it was a kind joke and Dollar stepped up to the plate giving me a nice bannana yellow jeep for less than every other place had quoted me. Kind fates I guess. Got to the hotel, unpacked and collapsed.

Decided to ease into the vacation yesterday by just doing some historical site seeing - we went to the Arizona memorial and the Bowfin (submarine) museum. Well actualy we went to perl harbor naval station where the mountain of a marine with fire tattooed on both arms told us we might be in the wrong area. You know someone's a badass when they're talking politely to you and calling you sir and you still fear for your life. Semper fi baby. Anyway. The bowfin was quite cool and I got to check off "defile a national monument" from my life list of things to do. Okay so it wasn't really a national monument and wasn't so much defiling as jumping a barrier to get some shots of me behind the main bow guns, but I'm willing to count it as such. The arizona was nice though 50% of the national park rangers involved in running the memorial weren't. Once nice older lady tried to help us out and get us some extra time out on the actual memorial - we ended up with a block of tickets for two "show" times. Another family ended up needing them more and were talking to a different ranger, I offered the 'extra' tickets and the ranger became visibly upset that I would show such blatent disregard for the rules as to have tickets for TWO show times! she confiscated the tickets. No matter. The memorial was fantastic, several good shots, and I met a fellow from virginia who's been in port for 4 months working on retrofitting submarines. He recommended a couple of sites - including a dubious shrimp stand run out of the back of a van - it was nice to get the local perspective.

Back in waikiki it was lots of wandering around seeing walking plastic surgery advertisments (clue for you there barbie, perfectly spherical breasts don't fool anyone). I found some cool gear and good music in the billabong store, completely unnecessary but that's what vacations are fore. Finally we made our way to the beach for the open air movie. about 50 minutes after the movie was supposed to start another park ranger came around telling everyone that - oops - the movie was actually at a different beach. But don't worry, it's only 40 minutes by car to the beach. we skipped the movie.

A nice long night and now we're off to drive around the island. According to the guy from virginia (really wish I'd gotten his name) it should take about an hour and a half to drive plus however long we spend stopped. We'll get to see hunama bay, the pinapple and macadamia nut fields, cultural center and - most important to me - the northshore surf areas :)

Leave for Hawaii in a few hours. This trip is already shaping up to be quite different from my normal travels.

The day before I fly I always spend an hour or so with Addie in the dog park - mostly to soothe my consience about leaving her for an extended period of time. It also sets my mood for travel. I stand in the open field, surrounded by scragly brush and weather worn soil with my shadow stretching long before me and I imagine this is what wherever I'm going will be like. a little hash, definately unknown but still enjoyable. I usually picture something like the outback or the african plains no matter where I going, I'm not really sure why. But this trip doesn't involve any of that. It's resorts and restaurants all the way. I think I'll end up savoring the time I have at diamond head and hunama bay. I shouldn't make it sound like I won't enjoy the other parts, they'll just be different.

It's also messing with my packing. I'm taking stuff I normally don't and leaving stuff I'd normally not be caught dead without. I don't need to bring soap or shampoo or large stocks of sunscreen, ibuprofin or whatever for fear that I won't be able to tell what's what with a million accent marks and oomlauts in the name. I'm also bringing shoes. Extra shoes. Fancy dress shoes that have to be kept non crushed as do their corresponding nice shirt and pants. Though I have plenty of room in my backpack my mind keeps screaming, "that's valuable space there! you could put two whole towels where you've just stuck one shoe tree". Again, not bad, just strange.

This will also be key insight into how Jennie operates under strange circumstances. Of my traveling companions Aimee, Scott, Matt and Mike have known how to handle themselves with whatever a trip throws at them while a few others (names protected) haven't fared so well. I'm fairly certain Jennie will travel well, it's how well her travel style and my travel style interact that will be interesting to see :)

And of course, some things never change. I have n+1 days of socks and underwear, nearly double the number of days worth of film (and hope to expose it all). My camera is tightly wrapped in my light weight shell for protection and less wasted space, I carry a small change of clothes and a weeks worth of prescription in my carry on should my luggage get lost, and I'm now going on 7 trips with american express getting none of my money for travellers checks :)

Hike, surf, dine and play - it should be a fun week.

Rachel came home from a two month sojourn through isreal a few days ago so naturally we had a bonfire at Golden Gardens to celebrate. Bonfires always mean pallets - handily provided by the unguarded warehouse district close to the park - and pallets mean exceptionally bright burning campfires. Now in the past we've had problems with the blocks of wood being too large to fit into the fire pit, and as much fun as axes and hammers are this time we decided to bring some help.

    Trent volunteered to be the man of action and happily began slicing through the pile of wood. Had quite the audience in fact - it's hard to ignore a chainsaw weilding madman on a beach - and eventually drew the eye of a man fastooned with cameras and flashbulbs. Turns out Sunset magazine is doing a piece on beach bonfires and we were "the most mechanized group" he'd seen. So here's hoping trent gets some national publicity.

Of course, then we lit the fire.

        Now it may not look like I'm all that close, but the heat at that distance was enough to blacken the other side of the plywood. Trent and I take turns holding the "blast shield" and prodding the fire back into the pit. A good evening all around. Huge props to Jennie for catching these good action shots.

And now it's the slow march until friday for a real vacation. Hopefully I'll come back knowing how to surf! Fresh experience with wakeboarding should help.

Of course that image doesn't convey what happend in the next second where I land, get a forced lake water brain enima and have the board ripped from my feet. Good times, good times.